That Time I Said Yes
Ahhhh Valentine's Day. It's nearly upon us. The day of fuzzy stuffed love-bears and sappy cards, chocolates and flowers, and....in past years, stacks of magazines (my man knows what I like).
I've never been overly huge on the day, myself. Not being terribly sappy or sentimental about most things. It's always just been a "day". We buy cute stuff for the kids....indulge in a little chocolate here or there. Then life rambles on.
11 years ago, my now-husband (the not-too-oft-mentioned Jon) and I were living in a loft apartment in Waukesha. We were not married. Not engaged. Not anything yet. We lived together. And this bugged me. Mostly because I am a planner. We had been together for a few years and I wanted to know his PLAN. His INTENTIONS, if you will. I didn't know him well enough at that point to know he's not much of a planner. He's more of a "go-with-the-flow" type.
As you can imagine, this led to some....strongly worded discussions, if you will. I'm sure I said something along the lines of "poo or get off the pot" (you know, the less PG rated version) more than once.
I was a Peach, I tell ya. : )
But I was 25. I was young, dumb, impatient, anxious.....and if he liked it so much he needed to put a ring on it, dammit. (Unfortunately Beyonce didn't hand down this nugget of wisdom that I could use to my advantage until YEARS later. Thanks for nothin', Bey)
Christmas 2004 came and went with no ring under the tree and I started 2005 a bit more than annoyed.
We were joining his parents on the annual February trip to Cancun that year. Over the course of our trip, Valentine's was going down....so we made reservations at a local restaurant.
By this time I was pretty much convinced he didn't want to get married....and our dealings on the subject had dissolved into snarky comments and wistful "oh wouldn't THAT be nice" passive aggressiveness.
Bear in mind here, folks, before you start thinking I'm a complete shrew....I was 25. : ) And I carried with me all the maturity and life-experience that comes with that age. So, pretty much nil.
Cancun was lovely, and we had a wonderful time. On February 13th, Valentine's Eve, we headed out to a local restaurant and ate under the stars. I chose this time to...again....pick his brain about our "future". He was pretty dismissive.....I was annoyed. Boo on Valentine's and everything associated with it.
We left the restaurant and ended back at the villa. The night was warm and beautiful. I retreated to the bedroom and put on some jammie pants and an oversized t-shirt.
No one can say I don't know how to "slip into something more comfortable".
We decided to hang out on the patio and listen to the waves.
The only thing going through my head was "Another Valentine's come and gone....another opportunity he didn't take.....grrrrr."
Then dude did the completely unexpected.
He pulled out a ring.
And he asked.
And I was completely dumbfounded.
And then my only thought was "I'm wearing jammie pants"
Oh, and yes. I said yes : )
That was 11 years ago. This year we celebrate 10 years of marriage. 10 years. 3 kids. 1 dog. 2 houses (so far). A move....a bigger move. 2 businesses. A few other jobs here and there. Countless decisions made and chances taken.
If I could go back and talk to 25 year old me, I'd tell her to cool her damn jets. That it all comes in time. That patience, my dear, is a wonderful virtue (I'm still working on that).
If it's all meant to be, it'll happen. Just, perhaps, not the way you were expecting it to.
He did want to get married. He was just throwing me off my game. Because I'm a planner....and he's not so much....but together we steer the ship right and make this whole mess work in some way.
And that's my sappy Valentine's post for this year : )